Feather falling from above
as serpent's tail flies by
Eyes that glow of distant storms
descending on the night

Value of humanity
and peace that's felt inside
Calm the raging flame within
let conscience be our guide

Master's error and fool's success
with so much left to learn
Wipe our brow and hold our hand
it's healing that we yearn

Distant drums ring through valleys
Echoing below
Mother tree and tender sapling
show love is how we grow

Destroying that which we hold dear
by holding on to hate
Peace is more than just a word
when words become our fate

So last night, around 3am, as I'm watching heroes online, I heard a sound.

Now, I'm in a new apt, still relatively unfurnished, and sound does carry. For the past 3 days as I've sat alone in my apt I've gotten used to little bumps and people talking.

Last night, however, was different. There's a back door to my apt, leading to a stairwell, just about 6 feet from my room. Last night, it sounded like somebody threw their body into it.

I assumed that maybe what I had heard was a neighbor dropping something. About 5 seconds later comes another powerful thud against the door. This time I'm sure something is up. I call out "Is someone there?" (pretty stupid, I know). And that's the last I heard of the thuds.

Still, for the rest of the night, I'm nervous. I call Ryan and my mom. Both of whom calm me down significantly. I get told that it was probably a homeless person who had known this apt was empty a few nights ago and was trying to get in to sleep. I can buy that.

Come this morning, I check out the Chicago Crime Data (http://chicago.everyblock.com/crime/). Turns out, that within 8 blocks of me, within 2 days, there have been 3 forcible entry burglaries. All happening around 2 or 3 am. (Just checked again, the number went up to 4 forcible entry burglaries after last night)

After finding that out, I kind of wished I had called the cops just for the off chance it was the person/people doing the breaking in.

Just thought I'd inform everybody about the wonderful Chicago nightlife around here. :-P

Any thoughts/comments?

I managed to get myself stranded in Chicago due to finishing up some business dealings which caused me to miss my train.

I wanted to just post a thank you to Ryan (Bandrik) and his family for being so good to me and coming and getting me.

I'm not even mad that my phone got destroyed after being given faulty directions to walk thru the pouring rain in a dark park looking for a underground tunnel that was about 100 feet from the place the bus dropped me off. Or that I had to get off of a train in Gary and sit in a small booth filled with Nation of Islam literature while waiting 30 minutes for Ryan to get there (this is where I was told to go by him).

My phone is insured, so I'll get a new one soon. I didn't get sick from the walk. And I wasn't attacked in Gary. So things worked out alright. And the bus and train people took such pity on me, that without me saying a word, they collected the money from everyone around me, but not me. :-)

Ryan arrived with a towel, dry clothes, spicy V8 to warm me up, a tasty turkey sub from subway, and some locally brewed root beer to cheer me up. So Ryan is now my hero. And his mom was very helpful with ideas, too.

Wow... I've never watched Fox News before. And most of the stuff they're spewing out is bull, but one thing has taken me by surprise.

Richard Simmons was brought on to talk about encouraging Obama to add more PE and recess to schools to help teach healthy lifestyles to kids and to prevent childhood obesity. He also wants to bring healthier foods to the schools.

The reporter kept trying to talk smack about Obama. He tried to get Richard to say Obama hates fat people. Richard Simmons called him out at every turn for trying to cause issues. He called him a troublemaker. He finally said "I'm ignoring you." Then he turned to the camera and talked directly to it.

So, while Simmons is way too ADD for my tastes, I have to say that I've actually developed respect for him. Just thought I'd share this sign of the Apocalypse with you. :-)

My friend, David, comes over most nights to use our internet and sleep on our couch for a few hours (he lives in an unfinished home that lacks internet and has no heating/cooling). I tend to let him sleep while I read a book or watch TV until I'm tired (usually around 5), then I drive him home (only a 5 min drive)

Tonight, after driving him home, I was headed back to my place. I saw a figure moving up ahead, and thought nothing of it. As I got closer and my head lights fell on the figure, I noticed it was a shirtless man running at me. My brain told me something was wrong right away, but it took my eyes a moment to realize it. He was missing an arm. He also had his armless shoulder slouched down and appeared more like he was going to tackle my car than run by it. His face was twisted into a pissed-off/evil look and he was glaring at me. I was immediately like "Oh Shit! I opened Lemarchand's box and didn't even know it!"

After a brief moment of terror, I drove past the man and looked in my rear view mirror to see him still running in the direction he was headed.

Now I know missing an arm isn't a big deal, nor is leaning forward when you run. And many people have a grimace on their face during a long run. Every runner keeps an eye on oncoming traffic, too. But holy shit, at 5:30 am with all the features lining up, a sleep deprived brain can make you think you're in the next Clive Barker novel.

I admit, as cowardly as it may be, I started remembering my zombie survival techniques.

Anyway, just figured I'd let you all know I was spooked by a one-armed man. I pooed a little. :-P

Part 1)

I'll clarify things here and explain to anyone who is reading this post that I am a pretty private person. One of the issues Ryan and I had while dating was that while I'd rather spend some quiet time thinking over things (meditation, if you will), he is the type of person who seeks out others for their advice and comfort. Neither of us was wrong in doing so, but there was certainly a clash when I felt he was sharing too much private information about us, just as I'm sure he worried about me "keeping it all in".

I know he made his second post on the break up to ensure I didn't feel like he was stepping on my toes by sharing personal information.

He and I have discussed many important issues. We have decided that while we enjoy many of the live journal users' company, we know they are not truly what most would call friends. With all of the bounciness and pseudo-friendliness found in the furry community, I think it takes quite a bit of maturity to recognize the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. I do have to give Ryan credit for learning that difference when certain issues came up.

Ryan means the world to me, regardless of what form our relationship takes. I see in him great promise and a desire for life that can't be quenched. There have been times we've hurt each other along the way, but we've easily made more good memories than bad. At the end of the day, I really can't even remember what most of arguments were about.

I'll state it right here for everyone to see: I love Ryan. This goes deeper than a friend or lover or family member. At the core of my being, I feel an attachment to Ryan. I suppose one could say we're spiritually connected. I don't care that he's no longer my boyfriend or that there are times we can't so much as stand to look at each other; when the chips are down, my bet will always be on him. So if you want Ryan in your life, I'm afraid I come with the package. Some of you like that fact, others don't. Either way, I suggest you learn to deal with it because that's just how it is.

Part 2)

I don't mean to sound heartless with anything I say here, but I feel its only right to say it. Too many furries are gossip queens and trouble-making children. With all of the idle banter and casual sex that plagues the fandom; Ryan and I have decided to walk a higher road. We walk the same path, although not necessarily together.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to living a life of honor and maturity. Those two terms seem to have fallen out of popularity in the past few years, but they are very powerful concepts none-the-less.

So let me make a few things very clear, in case I haven't been specific enough about these issues:

Ryan and I are humans first. Devoted family members second. Great friends third. Explorers fourth... Furries probably falls somewhere down the list around 25 or so.

Ryan and I are not into casual sex. It's not you, it's us. Really. Now stop asking. (See "honor and maturity")

Both Ryan and I are trying to better ourselves through higher education and dedication to the things we love. This means you and your problems may have to take a backseat to other things that, bluntly, are more important.

Do not assume the fact that you're a furry as well gets you any special rights. We will not give you money, we will not let you live with us. As a matter of fact, if you do act like you want special treatment, we will likely have a lengthy discussion talking about how obnoxious you are the moment you've left. Just so you know.

Ryan and I are partners in crime. We will always have each others' back. Trash talking one of us to the other will only lead to frustration and resentment for all parties involved. If you have an issue with me, bring it to me. If you have an issue with Ryan, bring it to Ryan. We are both big boys capable of dealing with any problems that may arise. Don't complain about one of us to the other.

I feel I've hit the key issues, and while Ryan may have more to add (or perhaps he may wish to try to explain what I've said in a slightly softer manner), please keep these things in mind while you're communicating with either Ryan or myself.

-- Daniel Lee McMillan

http://www.bluebutterflyfund.org/index.html

This is a link to a organization's site that I found while doing research on the Blue Morpho Butterfly for my entomology class.

The fund helps pay for expenses that a family encounters when they have a young child being treated for cancer.

The site accepts donations thru paypal. If anyone was looking for some cause to get behind this holiday season, this place seems pretty legit.

So I doubt anyone knows of this obscure anime/manga, but I'm a huge fan. It's known as X (made by Pioneer) but I think the manga is called CLAMP. Basic story is that a group of super-powered individuals are fighting with another group of super-powered individuals. The catch is that one side wants to restart the world due to humans constantly screwing everything up (Dragons of Earth) and the others think humanity deserves another chance (Dragons of Heaven). So I won't ruin any of the plot (but it sounds so generic with this pathetic description.. AH!). There is both an anime series and a movie. Watch the series. All of the personal interactions and conflicts are so endearing. Plus the fight scenes are pretty awesome too.

Anyway I took a quiz at http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=x_clamp_charas
This is the list I got for my own personality

My #1 is: Keiichi Segawa - Kamui's classmate(undetermined)
My #2 is: Yuto Kigai - Dragon of Earth
My #3 is: Sorata Arisugawa - Dragon of Heaven
My #5 is: Fuma Monou
My #6 is: Kanoe - Dreamgazer for the Dragon of Earth

Keiichi is a constantly happy normal person who seems to insist on being best friends with the moody main character, Kamui. There are three theories. Either he's just nice guy who wants to be friends with the lonely kid, he has a crush on Kamui, or he is unknowingly a Dragon of Earth (fate has chosen him to replace one of the others who died in a fight).

Yuto is a polite yet powerful enemy. He controls water to a crazy degree. He has a long water-filled whip which he uses to deal damage when he doesn't feel up to just holding you in a sphere of water and drowning you. He seems far too charismatic to be evil... mwahahaha.

Sorata is a fun and cute character. He's such a nice guy. He has control over lightening. From the very first time we meet him, we find out that he is destined to die. He claims he's fine with this, but he wishes to die protecting someone he loves. I honestly guessed this guy would be my #1 match.

Fuma - I'm going to say nothing about this one. His development is too pivotal to the plot.

Kanoe - Bitch! Wow. She is psychic, but only when stealing her sister's visions. She keeps the Dragons of Earth informed on what the Dragons of Heaven are doing at all times. Wouldn't want to hang around her, but you got to respect someone whose so cold and calculating.

Ok, anybody out there whose into sitdown RPGs. You gotta try Scion. It'll require a good storyteller, but the system and story is so fun! Here are a list of the books

Scion: Hero
Scion: Demigod
Scion: God
Scion: Companion (parts are available, the entirety is coming soon)
Scion: Ragnarok (coming in January)

--Tank

P.S. Some rednecks just hit a pothole outside my house and shouted "Woohoo!". For all Bush's failings, he could have at least implemented a social eugenics movement. :-P

Put a banana in your ear.


(For those of you who haven't seen it. Watch "Charlie the Unicorn" then "Charlie the Unicorn 2".)

http://www.youtube.com/dontbeadoucheon8

Go there. Watch the video. Laugh.